The Dark Underside of #MeToo

The Dark Underside of #MeToo

If you believe in women’s rights, as I do, and if you also believe that women can do anything they want to and should have full access to opportunities, then you also have to accept that women can also do things that are immoral and awful.

Right now the social collective is focused on sexual abuse in all of its forms, and rightly so.  However, there is scant attention paid to claims of such that are false.  There are a lot more of them than you would suspect, or at least more of them than I did.  I Googled “False claims of molestation” and was immediately goggled.  Such claims are not at all rare.

Many of the national-level cases are, of course, entirely valid, and the perpetrators have had their personal and professional lives dismantled, at the very least.  As they should be.

Having experienced a false accusation myself, I began asking questions of close friends.  From the first four people I talked with I gathered TEN examples! 

A first year female 2nd grader teacher accused by a boy of having groped him when he was held in from recess.  She was immediately removed from her classroom and put on paid leave. For six months. When the little boy finally admitted he had made it all up because he was mad that she had kept him in from recess because he had not completed his homework, the school district’s response was “OK – you can go back now.” How would you feel if you were in your first year of a career you had sacrificed so much to attain?

One young woman accused two different step-fathers of molestation.  The extended family eventually caught on.  A US Army cadet was falsely accused while at West Point of raping a female cadet. You can imagine the uproar and the depth of the investigation and the likely destruction of his service career.  What agony!

A man was falsely accused by a niece, which sent ripples of discord through an entire family that went on for years, long after the original allegation had been withdrawn.

And so on.  And on.

In a way, it is a perfect crime.  In none of the ten cases I have heard of, with the exception of the Army incident, did the original false accuser suffer any punishment.  If you want to bring a world of hurt to someone, this is a sure-fire way to do it.

There is a statute of limitations on many crimes, but there is no statute of limitations on accusations.   Furthermore, any response from the falsely accused sounds like an admission of guilt, because all of the possible  excuses have now been used by famous people who turned out to be guilty of exactly what they were accused of.   You can start, sadly, with the current President of the United States, and run through so many elected officials, movie stars and producers, comedians, and on and on.

If you are accused and reply “I did not do anything,” most people will nod, and not believe you.  Same goes for anything else you might say.  Many people, both friends and relatives, will immediately cease all communication with you. There is no recourse.

For this reason, most people in this situation, in my limited experience, tend to clam up and not talk about it. It is not fair or right, but it is the only course that seems available.

Today in the national news it is the turn of Tom Brokaw. An accusation decades old has turned his life inside out and upside down. Is he guilty? Maybe.  Will it make a difference? Maybe not.

I continue to support the rights of women and the worthy goals still left to be accomplished.  I hope that along the way we can spare some concern for the many men and a few women who have been falsely accused.

There are many thousands of them.


Copyright 2018             David Preston

About david

I am a 73 year old motorsports nut who lives in Snohomish, Washington. After a 31 year career as an English teacher, I segued into a self-created job in the motorsports business. Now retired, I was involved in customer relations for Ride West BMW in Seattle, after almost 10 years of similar work for the Cycle Barn MotorSports Group. I own, at the current time, a Triumph Rocket 3 (2020) and a 2016 Ford Focus ST. What else would you like to know?
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2 Responses to The Dark Underside of #MeToo

  1. Patrick says:

    Thanks for voicing some of your perspectives on these things… This is something I’ve been thinking about for a very long time…What is being exposed is a deep sociological cognitive dissonance surrounding sexuality and human behavior…

    Objectification is the source of these things… Whether it is associated to women or men. We live in a hyper-sexualized society that is manufactured by imperialistic media propaganda that shrewdly targets our basic human desires and motivations.

    We are coming to terms with a dichotomy of feelings and perceptions regarding power and submission in relationships, that are now more pronounced because of the leveling of socio-economical potentials for women generally…. We no longer are bound by agrarian lifestyles and familial necessities. The roles of men and women in our society have evolved…

    No human is immune to being a slave to their sexual desires and being manipulated by these and the desires of others intent on ploying their sexuality for gain. Heck, we give great power to folks that exploit their sexuality. The question eventually falls into exploitation and objectification and the extent society tolerates a level of cognitive dissonance that has us wanting to exploit the sexuality of another to fulfill base desires, while wanting attention and to be viewed as sexually desirable and respected… How we approach this manipulation (as in the case of fashion and appearance designed to attract, flatter and/or deceive) puts these behaviors in juxtaposition with some basic innate human traits imbued in both male and female genders.

    We are now asking ourselves to subjugate and regulate innate human sexual behavior… Now, having said this, because of the social conditioning purveyed by a media machine that objectifies women and men, there exists a great potential for permutations of perverse behavior by narcissistic personas incapable of feeling empathy for those that they exploit and objectify. Here is the crux of the current state of focus on dominance and submission inside of person to person relationships involving sexual potentials.

    Until we address these social cognitive dissonances surround sexuality, self-esteem and human nature, there will exist a rift in the male and female perspective surrounding the boundaries of personal relationships. Really, nothing has changed, just the size of the megaphone and a collective realization by the female community regarding their value in modern society.

    Today, with the invention of CRISPER gene-editing technology, the traditional male or female relationships are anachronisms and there is no real need for intercourse in-order to procreate and no reason to maintain a familial relationship outside of child-rearing or mutual emotional and/or economic support. There is just too much physiology and cognitive sense of self, separating men and women outside of other permutations of human beings that exist in society. At the basic level, a male has no clue what it is to be a female and visa versa. This holds true for every juxtaposition of physiological sexuality.. It may be different in the psychology of gender orientation, which is primarily based on common societal definitions of gender roles.

    This is all being driven by an amoral state of narcissism and innate human desire fired by a manufactured state of hyper-sexuality… We can change our minds… Who’s to blame…? Men, Women? It takes two to tango and responsibility for this state of discontent lays in the evolution of human sexuality and individual personification of these things; and our introspection and awareness about the things we do, say. and initiate with the opposite sex inside of a personal relationship with sexual potentials and the ramifications of these actions, that will be precipitated…

  2. steve raymer says:

    More to the point….men have been chasing women since Adam bit the apple and Eve coyly pretended nothing was wrong lol. Question is: at what point does it become “sexual assault”? A comment, a touch, a pinch on the butt? I have the utmost respect for what women put up with and of course NO MEANS NO. But are unwanted advances actually sexual assault? Should men be losing their careers because a jilted GF or ex-wife or ex-employee has a gripe? True victims should come forward and make their allegations known but there should be a burden of proof as well. To be falsely accused and have no recourse is certainly a nightmare I hope to never experience.

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