Tired of TV shows that are not unrealistic enough to allow you to escape the humdrum of everyday existence? Wake up and smell the rich and tawdry aromas of Minnesota sex !
In my home state, a former aide to the Senate Majority leader was fired after an adulterous affair. Well, “Lah de damn dah,” you yawn. But wait! We’re only just getting started. It seems the aid in question is male, and his female former boss the newly-resigned Minnesota Senate Majority Leader. It gets better. Much better.
The aide, one Michael Brodkorb, (and isn’t that an interesting name?), has filed a suit against the state legislature claiming gender discrimination. He asserts that female aides who are employed by male legislators – lots of them – have engaged in similar illicit affairs and not been punished or fired. In support of his half a million dollar claim, he is prepared to name names of several pairs of the guilty.
Even better, his boss has been active in the sort of politics that strives to defend the ‘sanctity’ of marriage as a union between one man and one woman. The GOP has issued various statements to the press which he considers libelous, and he can counter each of them with e-mails and memos and statements.
This suggests, at least to me, a new tactic for those in favor of marriage equality – searching for, researching, and then “outing” hypocrites in elected office who proclaim their devotion to “family values,” a phrase that surely varies widely in definition from family to family, while themselves engaging in the very sorts of behaviors they profess to deplore.
Of course, it would be wrong, wrong I tell you, to ascribe all of this to Republicans. After all, I voted for Bill Clinton, a man on track to have the greatest administration in American history before he threw it all away for very little. Close to home, Snohomish Poo Bah Aaron Reardon is now being investigated for potentially illegally using of public funds in pursuit of affairs with not one, but two women, including at least one assignation involving both of the women at the same time. If nothing else, you have to admire his energy.
Decades ago Henry Kissinger was one of the most influential people in our national government who had never been elected to an office. He was famous for many things, including squiring a cornucopia of gorgeous women to various social functions. When asked how he, an obviously less than handsome man, could attract such women, he is reported to have remarked “Power is the greatest aphrodisiac.” Most thought him witty at the time, but I think he was just giving a straight answer.
I had some tangential experience of this myself, in a very minor way, during the two years I served as President of the Lake Washington Education Association. At that time LWEA was the 4th largest local teacher union in the state and I was a mere lad of 29. I began to be “hit on” by women, which I can assure you had never happened before. It took me awhile to figure out what was going on, since I had not changed my appearance, apparel, or personality. It was the job title that was the stimulus, and the assumption of what I could get done. When meeting a woman who seemed a little flirtatious, I learned to drop my wife’s name into the conversation repeatedly, and wave my ringed finger about. This often had no effect at all. I learned other “escape” behaviors, some of which are really funny. Perhaps I could present a seminar to elected officials on my techniques! I was successful, and nothing ever came of these attempted liaisons. On one occasion we attended a dinner and met one of these women, and my wife later remarked, which a dismissive sniff, that she was not impressed and I deserved better. The perfect response.
Don’t be sad that there is nothing quite as salacious as Minnesota mis-politics on current TV, despite the manic creative efforts of screen writers to date. You can be assured that the research mills are grinding. Surely a made for TV movie, a TV series, and a big screen version of these events will emerge before long.
At the end of the day, I see a land of peace and prosperity, where our heretofore insatiable lust for the cheap and tawdry story, veined with a rich lode of sexual impropriety, will at last be sated. People will eventually be forced to conclude that what two (or more) consenting adults do to and with each other behind closed doors is not only their own business, but at the end of the day – boring.
We could then move on to the political actions of those elected to govern as they attempt to – govern. One can dream, but in the meantime I think I’ll go do a crossword puzzle. One should make good use of one’s time, after all.
Copyright 2012 David Preston