The Trump Dictionary
Incredible (adjective) A word returned to its original meaning, which is literally not credible or not believable. “Mr. Trump gave another speech today, and virtually all of it was incredible.”
Trumpability (noun) Claiming to have the talent to perform and action or operation when really you have no clue. “She claimed she could take our business to the next level, but she was just showing her trumpability.”
Trumpacity: (noun) A measurement of attendance where the actual number is exaggerated beyond belief or the evidence of actual witnesses. “The campaign speech was delivered in a large theater filled to trumpacity.”
Trumpalicious: (adjective) A statement intended to impress but which is so exaggerated and bombastic it is funny. “His description of his apartment was trumpalicious.”
Trumpanic: (noun) The largest luxury ocean liner ever built, and it would have been the greatest, as described ahead of time, if it had in fact ever been built. Sank on the journey from Trump’s mouth to the drawing board.
Trumpanum: (noun) A small bone present in the inner ear of a small minority of people that renders them deaf to reason. “I was always making stupid decisions until I had the trumpanum removed from each of my ears.”
Trumpbone: (noun) A type of musical instrument that while capable of producing great volume, can only provide one tone. And it is flat. “My parents gave me a trombone for Christmas. I think they want me to avoid music as a career.”
Trump card: (noun) Older usage now capitalized. A comedian making a living from impersonations of and jokes about Trump. “Let’s drop by the comedy club tonight and take in that new Trump card.
Trumpet: (noun) A combination of Trump and strumpet, to be used in reference to a woman who grabs your attention immediately, is loud and a bit low class, but who turns out to have questionable, or no, morals. “At first I was attracted to her, but after a couple of dates I realized she was just another trumpet.
Trumped up excuse: (phrase) Older usage now revived. “He told me he couldn’t come to dinner because his Aunt Margie passed away, but I’m pretty sure that was just a trumped up excuse.”
Trumpeting: (verb) Formerly used to describe the loud calls of swans or the playing of an instrument, now used to indicate shameless bragging. “The date was dragged down by his trumpeting of all of his supposed talents.”
Trumpeiger’s Cat: (astrophysics theory) A cat which may or may not be alive (or dead) and sitting in a closed cardboard box, but probably never existed and is neither.
Trumpence: (noun) A new currency proposed for after Trump’s win in the election. It will be a coin made from the unused chips his Father purchased in a failed attempt to prop up one of Trump’s casinos as it was diving into bankruptcy. “My salary was OK, but it was entirely paid in trumpence.”
Trumper: (noun) A fish known for having an enormously large mouth and no apparent reason for existence. “Went fishing but all I caught was a pair of trumpers, and nobody would eat one of those.”
Trumpholder: (noun) Term for any of the people who invested in a Trump business or did business with Trump and then were stiffed when he failed to pay what he owed. A very large group, many of who remain silent out of shame. “We had a meeting with fellow trumpholders last night, at a secret location.”
Trumpiage: (noun) A type of marriage where the woman is traded in for a new model whenever the husband gets bored and/or thinks she is aging.
Trumposaurus Rex: (noun) A previously unknown dinosaur that evidently walked on its hind legs and spent a lot of time roaring at other beasts, to little affect. Had very small hands and the brain case of a small bird. “Our new exhibit of a complete fossilized Trumposaurus Rex should really increase attendance at the museum.”
Trumping: (gerund) Putting down people for no reason other than spite. “He went off at the meeting, trumping everyone he had ever worked with.”
Trumpism: (noun) A statement presented as fact that has no basis in reality. “He used a trumpism when he described how Latinos have taken over the economy.
Trumpster: (noun) A container for the deposit of any documents found to be worthless or untrue. “Now that Jed has been fired, empty out his desk and toss all the contents in the trumpster.”
Reader challenge – can you add more words to the dictionary? Send entries to firstname.lastname@example.org. If there are enough I will re-issue the new and improved version!
Copyright 2016 David Preston